Nose goes

 Nose goes, flipping coins, drawing straws, rock-paper-scissors, and eenie meenie miney mo are all popular methods of decision making; however, the question is, is it the most effective approach? When we were young we learned how to interact with others. When we were younger we were told to “play nice” and “treat others the way you like to be treated”. As children we were more forgiving, accepting, loving, and understanding. I believe all those traits are natural and instinctive for children. I have 20+ nephews and nieces. It's a daily occurrence that they will fight, argue, and bicker on with another. Likewise, it's a daily occurrence that they forgive each other and return back to playing and making messes around the house. My point being, when we were kids it was second nature to be kind, forgiving, and understanding. On the contrary, as I have grown up I have observed that we as adults tend to grow out of these characteristics. What happens in between? What is the difference? I can only speculate: Maybe we think we know everything now and we’ve become a little prideful. Perhaps we’ve met too many unpleasant people in our lives and to the point that we have had a loss of trust. Possibly because this isn’t our “first” rodeo we lack the patience to learn and understand new things. Whatever the case, it is not uncommon for us as adults to have different perspectives and clashing opinions. This makes methods such as rock-paper-scissors, nose goes, and eenie meenie miney mo utterly ineffective. Today I want to share with all of you a specific technique I learned in Vietnam to better counsel and decision-make.

I volunteered in Vietnam for 2 years with my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we did all kinds of service from community charity, free english classes, wheelchair making, clean water projects, and sharing with other the happiness I’ve received in my life from knowing Jesus Chirst and Heavenly father. Mind you, I and the 50 other missionaries serving in Vietnam were only around the age of 18, 19, 20, & 21. We were far from mature. To help us be as effective, professional, and unified as Possible my President and his wife, the Chiles, came up with this outline of how to be an effective counsel. All credit goes to the Chiles. I'm not the best communicator, I’m not the most driven, and I'm not the most extroverted, but this outlive has helped me so much in deciding hard choices. 

“What is a Council? What elements make an effective and inspired Council?

The purpose of a council is to EDIFY each other.  In councils, the interests of individuals and the organization— the missionary companionship, district, mission, branch, presidency, or the family — come together in a unique way, especially if participants understand the following:

1. Council members need to PREPARE THEMSELVES SPIRITUALLY to participate in the council. Each member should spend time before the council seeking to have the spirit with them and come prepared to share, learn and lift. Take care or repair in your life, things that would hinder the Spirit. During the council members need to be "anxiously engaged".

2. Each council member has a vital role during the council. Council members should 6ACTIVELY PARTICIPATE in (awake, attentive and engaged) but not DOMINATE the council. As Paul taught, “The eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you. Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary” (1 Corinthians 12:21–22). Every voice is valued and should be heard. 

3. Council members SEEK TO ADD LIGHT.  The purpose of an effective council is to work together to receive inspiration and heavenly direction.  Be sure that the spirit of revelation can be felt as you share.  When differences of opinion are shared, remember the Prophet Joseph Smith taught “that every man, before he makes an objection to any item that is brought before a council for consideration, should be sure that he can throw light upon the subject rather than spread darkness, and that his objection be founded in righteousness.”

4. Council members SEEK TO BE UNIFIED. Despite different perspectives, council members unite in seeking to “receive guidance from the Holy Ghost,” and unify their will with the Lord’s will. Joseph Smith once said during a council that “to receive revelation and the blessings of heaven it was necessary to have our minds on God and exercise faith and become of one heart and of one mind.”

 

It's so hard to sift through your feelings and thoughts sometimes, its hard to know what to say or how to say it, it’s hard to feel adequate enough to participate in decision making. Please try this method, feel feel to tweak this to your own learning styles and personality styles, and last of all don’t forget you love the person/ people your counseling with. Don't let the heat of the moment singe your relationship. Let love drive your decisions.