Filling the cracks

During our lecture today, we discussed a  typical situation that often occurs in the daily lives of those families around us and not surprisingly in our own lives.

Very often a family's financial status or financial desires demand the “money maker” of the home to sacrifice their time at home in order to put more hours on the clock, as a result they lose quality time with their family. Sometimes, this is a necessary action on behalf of the source of income. It’s a hard decision, and should be planned out and agreed on by the entire family. This decision affects everyone in and even out of the household, people have to step up, family members take on more responsibility, and if done in unity this experience can strengthen a family, likewise it can also tear a family apart. This common scenario requires unity and love in order to end stronger than before..

Unity is a broad word, when I think of unity I think of clear, concise communication, and thorough planning. Whoever said, “It’s my life, what I do doesn’t affect others,” sadly couldn’t be any more wrong, even more so in a family setting. As a family unit, no one is without responsibility or role. Everyone relies on each other, or should, that is. For everyone to know their specific roles it takes clear and concise communication. I’ve once heard that, “If you love someone and they love you, you can never be too BOLD”. I think that applies to clear and concise communication, if someone is struggling to fulfill their responsibilities I think it's more than reasonable to talk with them and see what they’re thinking, how they’re feeling etc etc. Heart to heart conversations and mini pow wows is what bosses lack and what leaders possess. And then thorough planning, where are we headed? What kind of family do we want to be, what kind of kids do we want to raise? It takes questions like these to guide our actions, without an end goal we are being acted on by outside forces, instead of acting and being proactive. 

Then lastly It takes LOVE, love is also a broad word. I think of gratitude, patience, and selflessness when I think of love. I think it's hard sometimes to feel love for some, that’s because I think love is both an action and a feeling, in other words a verb and  a noun. To actively love someone you HAVE to know them, and i believe gratitude goes hand in hand with knowing someone? Do you know what they do for you? Do you know what they’ve been through? Do you know their intentions? And are you grateful for all  of that? If not, it'll be hard to love someone. Once you love/ starting to love it is that much easier to have patience. It's harder to have patience with a stranger than it is to have patience with your best friend probably. So be patient, but how? I then think that being selfless is an action oriented method of being patient. Everyone has heard “There is no ‘I’ in the word team”. Same as the family unit. You can’t be self-centered and expect to have good relationships with those around you. I served a 2 year mission for my church in Vietnam. I had several service companions that I lived with throughout my time there in Vietnam. Our volunteer job was organized so that you'd have to be with your companion 24/7 for the period of time you were with them. I learned a valuable lesson from my President. He taught us to “fill the cracks”, which means that if we love someone, help them, volunteer, and most importantly to do it because you love them. When you are filling the cracks maybe do without saying anything, do it in secret, go above and beyond. The important and underlying principle of “filling the cracks”is that people when they’re slacking/ struggling know it already. It doesn't always help bringing it up, it makes them feel bad, so instead we can just do it, until they are ready and willing to resume responsibility. 

Families are so important, understanding the dynamics of relationships and love will better equip you and your family to go through struggles together, and then grow stronger together because of them.